Top 15 Negative Lesbian Stereotypes
In life, and in the media there are numerous lesbian stereotypes floating around. From the hurtful to the harmful, lesbian stereotypes positively flood the media.
1. Lesbians Hate Men
I don’t know how this lesbian stereotype even came to be, but as a lesbian it sounds ridiculous. I’m sure that there may be some lesbians who individually hate men but as a group, that a ridiculous connotation. Men are half the reason we are even alive. Yeah, it’s easy to hate a guy when he says “You just haven’t met the right guy yet” or “You haven’t been with me yet.” But that’s not hate as a whole, that’s just something we learn to brush off. Which we shouldn’t have to.
2. All Lesbians Were Abused By Men as Children
This stereotype about lesbians really gets to me. Not every person who is homosexual was abused. This is something that was started by Freud but quickly disproved *. If that many people were sexually abused then there would be an epidemic of child abuse larger than ever thought possible.
3. One Lesbian is “The Man” During Sex
This implies that all sex is inherently categorized in a way that depends on heterosexuality. It implies that inside of a sexual situation, there is only heterosexuality. It also would imply that lesbians revert to a heterosexual mindset in the bedroom that undermines the idea of lesbianism.
4. Lesbians Use Dildos/Or Hate Dildos During Sex
This is another sex myth that I really don’t understand. It also implies, in the first version that sex is only something that can happen with a penis, or without something that represents one. The second implies that lesbians fear anything to do with something shaped like a penis. While it is true that some couples do not use sex toys in their relationships, that is more of a personal decision. How many straight couples would get asked if they use sex toys?
5. There is “Lesbian Bed Death”
Lesbian Bed Death is a term that occurs in many places that means that the sex in a relationship has gone stale, and is no longer there. But is that solely a lesbian thing? I know plenty of straight couples who experience the same thing. Just because there is a term, a highly charged term, made for one type of couple, does not make it an exclusive thing.
6. All Lesbians Want a Threesome
I don’t know how or where this stereotype got started but it strikes me as odd. The idea is that all lesbians will have a threesome because there is a woman involved in the sex. To people who think this the idea is that lesbians will stomach a man being involved to be able to have sex with another woman. This implies that lesbians are desperate for sex,and will do anything for sex with a woman. Not only is this insulting, but it implies that lesbians are sexually “looser” than others.
These 6 lesbian stereotypes, all about sex are dangerous and insulting to the lesbian community as they cast lesbians in a bad light. They further a notion of heterosexual normality and homosexual oddity. Now, I’m not saying that I know how to change them, but being aware of them is important too.
7. All Lesbians are “Butch”
First of all, what defines a “butch”? For some it may be as simple as a woman who wears her hair short or all mens clothes, or acts more “masculine”. The defining of someone as masculine has its own problems and many books have been written about the subject. For others it is a way of life. The idea that all lesbians are “Butch” and that there is no such thing as other ways to express oneself in the lesbian community is very troubling. I know plenty of lesbians who are not “Butch” myself, even though I identify as so.
8. All Lesbians Are Ugly
This is insulting to a lot of women. The stereotype of ugly lesbians is another one that is often seen in media or in life. By casting all lesbians as ugly, it becomes easier to other them and to make it seem as though lesbians are a part of a society that is small and not like a “normal society” so it is okay to other that group.
9. All Lesbians Hate Makeup
Makeup! The ultimate girly thing right? Because of that it is often assumed that lesbians will not use or hate makeup. This is another assumption based upon the idea that lesbians are more “masculine” or “manly”.
10. All Lesbians Love Sports
So this could go either way. Lesbians either love to root for sports or love to play sports. This assumes that every single lesbian can and does like the same thing. Not only that, but this makes the assumption that a group can be reduced to one person. I’m not denying that there are lesbians who love to play sports and root for sports, but not every single one. How many times have you heard this stereotype?
11. All Lesbians Play Softball
This continues the whole sporty, masculine like lesbian stereotype. I don’t know about you but I’ve seen so many movies where a lesbian plays softball or loves it. Yes, softball is an intense sport that takes a lot of athleticism and sportiness to play, but not every woman who plays is a lesbian.
12. “The L Word” is Reality
I don’t know about you, but if “The L Word” was reality I would not be as keen to have other friends in the community as I do. The drama and crazy life of the characters in the show may make for good television but it is not an accurate representation of life as a lesbian woman. This lesbian stereotype makes me go a little crazy because as much as I love this show, and it was one of the first queer shows I watched, I could never live in a world of that much drama.
13. All Lesbians Are “Good With Their Hands”
This comes from the image of lesbians in Home Depot and Ikea. How many people have made the assumption that just because you’re a lesbian you can help them out with some engine problem or some project in their house? This lesbian stereotype is something that can be frustrating and also a little insulting if you’re like me and can’t do things like that for whatever reason.
14. “Bury Your Gays”
This stereotype typically occurs in literature and television and the most recent example that I can think of is on “The 100” TV show when Lexa is killed just as she and Clark fulfill their relationship. This stereotype happens when a gay couple finally gets together and then one is killed. You bury the gays. Literally. This needs to change in literature and media because it gives the impression that no matter what an LGBT couple does they have no way to have a happy ending.
15. The “U-Haul”
U-Haul Lesbians. What does that term mean? It means a lesbian couple who meets and moves in with one another right away, hence the U-Haul. The idea is that they get together so fast all they have time to do is take a U-Haul full of stuff to the others apartment. While I’m sure there are some couples who move in together quickly there are also those in heterosexual relationships that do the same. I’m not saying that moving in quickly is a bad thing, just that there shouldn’t be a specific label for one type of couple and a lack for another type of couple.